Monthly Archives: September 2013

Your Daughter’s First Period

Whether or not your daughter has experienced her first period, take a look at Kate’s delightful post on Stay At Home Mum’s site.

Kate offers puberty and period wise advice, as well as sage mom advice, too.

As you will see below, Kate urges moms – talk to your daughter before she gets their period.

They grow up so quickly and the baby girl you brought home is no longer a tiny little bundle. You’ve been there to help her learn and grow and have watched her experience so many new things. The time is now coming for your little girl to blossom into a young lady. There’ll be plenty of mood swings, grumbling, some stubbornness, pimples and her first period.  It can be a very scary thing for young girls, the thought of getting her period is really quite daunting (whether they admit it or not). You’ll know when it’s almost time and she’ll start to notice some things too. Hair growing in different places, skin condition changing, sleep patterns may change, her body will begin to develop differently, she’ll start getting cramps and a multitude of other things. The best way to approach puberty is with knowledge. Help your daughter by supplying her with all the information she will need BEFORE she gets her first period to help her reach this milestone in her life without being scared. Even young children ask questions, be honest with them and start with the BASICS when they are beginning to ask questions and spread the information out. Don’t expect to just sit down and talk about it all and think that’s the end of it. It’s a lot to take in and some of it may not be age appropriate depending on when you start your talks. Read more.

What puberty or period wise advice would you add to what Kate offers?

 

What Does it Cost You to Flow?

In the past few days I’ve heard from two women who have extreme flow during menstruation.

The amount of product used is staggering.  (And, the amount of trash produced is, too.)

Imagine using 98+ individual products – overnight pads and ultra tampons often used concurrently – for one 7 day flow period.

Now, imagine the cost involved.

  • The last time you purchased tampons or pads, how many did the box(s) contain?
  • Now, divide 98 by the answer in the previous question (number in the box of pads/tampons you bought).
  • And, finally, multiply that number (that you got by dividing) by the $ spent to purchase your product of choice.

What’s the total?

The total $ is the minimum cost you would incur for EACH period if your menstrual experience was similar.

Could you handle that financially?  I couldn’t.

Can you see how reusable menstrual products can literally be a financial savior to women with heavy menstrual flow?

Did you know they can be for you as well?  How much do you spend each month on menstrual products?  Come on, be honest.  Now, multiply that by 12 (or however many periods you have in 12 months time.  What’s your total?

Did you have a “wow” moment when you did the math?

Now, multiply the $ amount by the number of years you will probably need menstrual products – 40.

Did you have a WOW moment just now?  Mine came out to almost $7000. (And, that’s not counting the gas used to run to the store, incidentals purchased while out that I wouldn’t have purchased if I’d not had to make that period run for product.)

Wow!

That’s a down payment on a house…a new/used car in the garage…educational needs…a new beginning…a new location…a dream vacation….

Now, imagine yourself unable to pay the amount you initially gave for each month’s menstrual needs because finances were too tight, or the expense too great.  And, so you relied on a credit card to meet your needs.  How long would it take to run up credit card debt for menstrual products alone?

What’s the solution?

Reusable menstrual products.

  • menstrual cups
  • cloth pads
  • sponges

A quick search online of “cloth menstrual pads” reveals many options and sellers – too numerous to mention here.

Sea Pearls are, perhaps, the best known menstrual sponges, at least according to Google.

When it comes to menstrual cups, 5 reusable cups have FDA approval for sale in the US.

  1. Lunette
  2. Diva
  3. Sckoon
  4. Keeper
  5. SoftCup

Flowing should not be costly, but it is for so many women.

Make the change to reusables and keep your dollars and change where it belongs – in your control.

Reusables are the way to go with heavy flow…with any flow.  It just makes better sense, for your wallet and for the environment, too.

Be period wise – be dollar wise.

Gia Allemand – Beauty and the Beast

Yesterday on the Dr. Phil Show, the mother of reality TV star Gia Allemand talked about her daughter’s tragic suicide.

Donna Micheletti — who was on the phone with the former “Bachelor” star when she hanged herself — described her final moments with her daughter to Dr. Phil, explaining Gia had a history of drastic mood swings around the time of her period.

Donna said, “At that point, with how she felt with her menstrual cycle, she could not see clearly … It was like night and day. It would come out of nowhere. All of a sudden, something would click in there and she would say ‘This isn’t right. He doesn’t love me.'”

Donna acknowledged that Gia had been upset for various reasons — including recent fights with her boyfriend and father — but believes the hormonal extremes are what ultimately drove Gia over the edge. TMZ

I watched the entire hour of Tragic Beauty: The Exclusive Story of a Bachelorette’s Suicide.

It broke my heart to know that Gia suffered horrible mood swings during her cycle and “that time of the month” was a tremendous burden for her to bear emotionally.

There are those who discount the effect her hormonal changes had on her and wish to blame her suicide on other things.  But, from one who experiences things similar to what Gia’s mother described…I know how difficult it can be to see clearly in that dark place once you enter it, and how confusing everything seems.  And, I know how difficult it is (at the time) to believe that in a day or so all will return to normal.

Were there other factors that led to Gia’s suicide?  Most likely, yes.

Did “that time of the month” play a role? Yes, I believe hormonal changes did play a large role in this.

And, I also know this is not a popular position to take.  Don’t believe me?  Just check other blogs online.

Menstrual taboos keep us silent.  It’s time we speak up and speak out.

If hormonal changes in your cycle bring about depressed feelings, especially those that lead to thoughts of suicide, get help. Talk to someone.  Share what you are experiencing. And, don’t stop talking until you find someone who can help you.

You are not alone.  Many others experience this every cycle.  Don’t let fear or embarrassment keep you from getting the help you need.  Break the menstrual taboos that keep you a silent prisoner.

If you experience drastic emotional swings during your cycle, be period wise – keep a CD (Cycle Day) journal.  Within that journal write down what you experience, how you feel, what you think.  Keep track of the changes you experience each day of your cycle.  Share it with your doctor.

Avoid Taint

On Facebook I found this picture with the comment:

Gotta avoid that taint

And, beneath that comment was another:

Hahahahahahahahaha

In all sincerity, please tell me…what is so funny about that?

For those who don’t know, “taint” refers to the part of the perineum found between the genitals and anus.

Now, what’s so funny about that?

Oh, I know – the joke goes like this:

t’ain’t your balls and t’ain’t your ass.

And, for those of us without testicles, it would be

t’ain’t your vulva and t’ain’t your anus.

Again I ask, what’s so funny about the perineum?

Personally, I think the reason for the term “taint” and the laughter it provokes lies more in our discomfort with our bodies and the bodies of others – and in our ignorance of the real names and functions of the parts of our anatomy (and of the anatomy of the sex opposite our own).

The horror is that we pass this attitude of ignorant humor on to our children and perpetuate the legacy of stupidity with words like

  • taint
  • dick/peter
  • pussy
  • cunt
  • balls
  • cooter
  • beaver
  • that time of the month/aunt flo/on the rag

What’s wrong with calling a vagina a vagina and a penis a penis? Why do we need nicknames for certain body parts and bodily functions? Why are we so uncomfortable as a society when it comes to being human?

Do we think we are being cute by teaching our kids to use these terms?

How cute do you think it is when a 35 year old woman goes to her GYN and is unable to explain what her problem is and where because all she knows to call that part of her anatomy is “my pussy.”

Yeah.

Cute is not the term that comes to mind.  And, I guarantee you it’s not the first that comes to her mind, either.

Be period wise.  Be body wise. Learn the terms. Use the terms!

 

Who Are You Infecting?

I experienced the following while at a local garden center. (Hang with me…I’ve an important point to make.)

Two women paused between rows of brightly colored flowers. A conversation ensued.

Woman #1 said, “Oh, look at the beautiful flowers! So pretty!”

Woman #2 answered, “They hold nothing for me.”

Somewhat taken aback, Woman #1 said, “Don’t look at them as just flowers…see them as color…beautiful, bright, bold colors that excite the eyes!”

Woman #2: “They make my eyes hurt!”

Woman #1 paused and looked at her companion before replying. “They may hold nothing for you, but they hold everything for me. And, they speak of life and the joy of living, of hope and love, of growth and change. The colors…they make me happy…make my eyes dance and my heart smile.”

Woman #2: “Bah – make you happy, make your eyes dance and your heart smile?  They would die like all things die and then what would you have?”

Woman #1: “I would have the hope of renewal come Spring.”

Woman #2: “Hope?  Hope is dead…as dead as those flowers will be when Winter’s freeze kills them.”

Woman #1 reached out to touch the yellow blossom before her, and said, “You’re probably right.  I doubt they would survive the winter freezes, and I don’t have time to give them the care they would need.”

Woman #2: “Now you’re talking sense.”

It’s so sad that one’s words and attitude can infect another so quickly and so profoundly.

Let’s tweak that conversation just a bit and place it on the feminine hygiene aisle.  Perhaps it will remind you of a similar conversation you’ve participated in.

Woman #1 said, “Oh, look at all the different colors and product options! So pretty, and so many!”

Woman #2 answered, “You’re kidding right? This stuff excites you?”

Woman #1, somewhat taken aback, said, “Yeah, doesn’t it you? I love my period and I like trying different menstrual products. I learn so much about myself and my flow experience.”

Woman #2: “Um…no. In fact, I find it rather embarrassing to be standing here talking about all this.  Periods are private and there’s certainly nothing good about them. They hold nothing good for me…just pain, irritation, and embarrassment. I’ll be glad when menopause comes.”

Woman #1 paused and looked at her companion before replying. “They may hold nothing for you, but they hold everything for me. And, they speak of life and joy, of growth and change, of flowing and the cycle of life. The colors…they make me happy…make my eyes dance and my heart smile.”

Woman #2: “Excited about period products?  Ha! They are just something to use and throw away – a waste of money really, and totally nasty. At the end of a week, what do you have? Nothing but a pile of smelly trash.”

Woman #1: “I have joy in flowing and in embracing every part of my period…of my cycle…of myself. I have the satisfaction of being self aware and comfortable with who I am. It’s not nasty. There’s nothing nasty about it.  It’s normal.”

Woman #2: “Joy in flowing? Embracing your cycle? What…are you weird or something?  Periods aren’t something to enjoy…they are something to endure and live between. And, these colorful period products…they’re colorful for a reason, you know.  They want your money and don’t give a care about you or your period.”

Woman #1 reached out to touch the yellow box before her, and said, “You’re probably right.  I guess I do sound a bit odd, when I stop and think of it.  I’ll just get a box of tampons and….”

Woman #2: “Now you’re talking sense.”

Be careful. Our words and attitudes infect others – and usually it’s those closest to us…those we care about the most.

  • Be period wise – especially when talking with girls, tweens, and teens.
  • Be period positive and encourage others to embrace themselves –  their cycles – their periods.

If you saw yourself in Woman #2, please find healing before you infect others around you.

If you don’t know where to turn or how to find help and healing, drop me an email and let’s see if we can get you headed in a healthier direction.