Tag Archives: end taboos

Bride Chooses Wisely – For Herself and Her Future

The net has been awash with posts about the bride in India who walked away from her wedding, refusing join herself in marriage to the groom who could not correctly add 15+6. (More on this story can be found here.)

Wise woman.

She wanted more for herself and her future than what she was offered.

She bucked tradition and stood for what she knew was right for herself. Forget cultural taboos – this woman ditched it all and said she wasn’t having any of it.

Good for her!

It’s something we should all do, period wise.

Bucking menstrual traditions and throwing taboos out the window make room for enlightened thinking which leads to enlightened living and enlightened choices, period wise.

This bride envisioned more for herself and her future – expected more. Deserved more!  And,she bravely said “No” to all that threatened her dreams and hopes for the future.

When was the last time you said “No” to menstrual traditions and taboos, and took a good long look at your dreams and hopes for the future, period wise?  You deserve more, you know.

Period wise women stand up and stand out.  And, they don’t go with the flow, product wise.  Know your options.  Be open to change.  Experiment and explore.  And, do so with your hopes and dreams in mind.

Be strong. Stand for yourself, your ideals, your hopes and dreams.  And, say “No” to all that would tie you to traditional products and taboo thinking.

Be period wise.

#ConfidentCarry – The Reactions of Others

I suppose the biggest concern about #confidentcarry and the reason most girls and women opt for concealed carry of menstrual supplies and other feminine hygiene needs is what others will say or think.

Pressure to conform to the norm is common in all areas of life.  People want what they are comfortable with and are quick to speak up when something attempts to move them beyond their comfort zone.

Nonconformity kicks the norm to the curb, ends taboos and creates a new way of doing things, offers a new attitude, and provides new insight.

Why is it such a “no-no” for menstrual / feminine hygiene products to be visible?  And, why is it a bad thing if others know we are menstruating? Why hide it? We act like menstruation is shameful. Did you know your attitude and behavior tells others who you are?  More importantly it tells them how they should treat you as well as how they should think and feel about things that concern you.

Ending menstrual taboos begins with us – with you and with me.

Reaction to #ConfidentCarry was a concern as I stepped out of my front door and into a world that expects (dare I say demands?) concealed carry and uses embarrassment as a means to control those who don’t conform.

As you read the reactions below, keep in mind that I was out in public with a large overnight pad stuck to the back of my shirt with #confidentcarry written on it.  5 or 6 large tampons were sticking out of my back pocket and I carried a clear plastic bag with brightly colored pads, wipes, a purple reusable menstrual cup and a disposable cup. All were highly visible and often carried with “in your face” attitude – from 11:00 a.m. until 8:00 p.m. Friday, May 9.)

Reactions to #ConfidentCarry:

  • From Daughter at various times before I left the house: You’re going to wear that on your shirt?  All day?  And, I’m going to be with you while you do? Does it have to be so big? I’m glad it’s you and not me. No way would I do something like that. This is crazy. Um…those tampons are going to show, you know.  Do you think you got a big enough plastic bag, I mean, how are you going to carry it…in your hand?
  • From Husband before he left for work: I know this is #ConfidentCarry Day. Does that mean during our date this evening you will, um…#confidentcarry? You will? Oh, boy…that’s going to be embarrassing.
  • Next door neighbor: quizzical look, frown, then smile and wave as I greet him.
  • Daughter as we drive to Home Depot: You’re really going to walk into Home Depot with that pad on your back? Oh, this I’ve gotta see.
  • Daughter upon exiting the car in the Home Depot parking lot: Go ahead Period Wise, I’ve got the camera. Hey, you just had to take the path that lead through the most people, didn’t you.
  • Customer Service Rep at the return counter when I placed my clear bag containing supplies on the counter: quick glance and nothing more.
  • Two salesmen approached us with an offer to redo our kitchen. They conversed for about 60 seconds and then I dropped my plastic bag and turned to pick it up. Daughter said their reaction was priceless when they saw what was in my bag, the pad on my back and the tampons in my pocket: Immediate shock – eyes big, mouth open, stuttering, looked at each other and back at me, then at her, then at my products again.  When I turned to face them again, it was evident they were flustered and embarrassed – faces red and they weren’t sure what to say.  They excused themselves and we parted ways.
  • Two women talking in Home Depot’s green house – as I passed them I slowed, their conversation stopped abruptly and there was a silent pause for a count of 10 and then conversation resumed as though nothing had interrupted them.
  • A group of 3 young female teens, displaying ethnic pride through their choice of clothing, paused their conversation and watched me, then whispered quietly amongst themselves.
  • A white haired man intentionally walked past me, paused and turned to look at me, walked past me again, paused and looked back at me once more.  For 5 minutes he wandered around with eyes turned my way, watching. When my eyes caught his, he smiled.
  • In Subway a woman took a picture of me from the rear.
  • While waiting in line at Subway a group of 4 young men seated at a table in view of me talked, pointed and snickered.
  • The man behind me in line at Subway took three steps backward when he saw what was on my back.
  • Two women followed me into the Subway parking lot and watched me get into the car.
  • At McDonald’s the only reaction I received was from a middle aged woman who seemed mesmerized by the pad on my back.
  • Several Walmart customers took notice – all women. No one commented. I received stares and smiles – not so much from the product I carried but from the pad on my back.
  • The cashier at Walmart saw my #confidentcarry clear bag when I placed it on the counter to count out $ to pay for my purchase. She looked at it long and hard, then at me, smiled and said, “Have a nice day!”
  • When I dropped by Mom’s house she asked, “What’s that stuck to the back of your shirt?” When I explained she said, “Well, it’s about time!” And, then, she said, “Are those tampons sticking out of your pocket? Let me see one. Wow, these are huge. I didn’t know they came this big!”
  • At Office Depot a man walked down the same aisle I was on, saw the pad on my back and wheeled around and exited quickly.
  • At Office Depot a tampon fell from my pocket and a worker said, “You dropped something.” I waited to see if she would pick it up for me and when she didn’t I thanked her, picked it up in such a way that I was sure she knew about #confidentcarry and then turned to look at her – eyes wide open…mouth, too.
  • At Kroger two people noted my #confidentcarry bag but said nothing and moved on.
  • At Kroger a girl noticed the sign on my back and asked the woman she was with what I had on my back and what it said.
  • At Zaxby’s four young women at a table began a #confidentcarry discussion upon seeing my #confidentcarry.

What was your reaction to #ConfidentCarry? What would have been your reaction if you’d seen me?

Solution to the Ongoing Problem

This is my fifth post on the Galesburg High School concealed carry story and the #ConfidentCarry campaign to raise awareness of the plight of menstruating girls and women everywhere.

My comments would be incomplete without offering a solution to the ongoing problem of inappropriate and inconsiderate behavior toward menstruating humans, and the lack of confidence many who menstruate have regarding themselves and their experience.

What’s the solution?

As I see it, the answer is multifaceted.

  1. Girls / teens / women must become comfortable with their own cycles and with menstruation.  (So what if someone knows!?!? It’s normal, natural and good. It’s okay to be on your period. Truth!)
  2. We all (men and women – young and old) need to stand up against negative views of menstruation and attitudes.  These attitudes are degrading, demeaning, belittling and we shouldn’t stand for them.
  3. We need to release the fear of discovery and embrace the wonders of menstruation in ourselves and in others.
  4. If someone forces rules and regulations upon us that inhibit our ability to function in a healthy manner (physically as well as mentally/emotionally) then we need to stand together against it even if it means we protest. (Yes, I said the P word.)
  5. Alternative products must be viewed as normal, healthy options if they are to become the norm.  Girls must be taught that there are options available to them besides disposable pads and tampons.
  6. We must work (all of us) to end menstrual taboos and embrace menstruation.  If the world sees that we are no longer afraid to menstruate and refuse to be defined by the myths and silly rules that shame us into hiding the wonder and glory of menstruation, the world will change for the better.
  7. The need for period wise school administrators, teachers, nurses and student advocates is staggering.  If you are one…please, be one! If you can help educate one, please take the time to do so.

Join us on May 9 for Confident Carry.   #May9  #ConfidentCarry