Tag Archives: early puberty

New Puberty – A Crucial Resource for Parents

The day dawned like any other day.  The signs where there, but I pulled the cover over my head and turned over.  Surely I was mistaken – it wasn’t time for the day to start.

So it was with my daughter.  The signs where there, but either I didn’t recognize them or I pulled the cover over my head and declared it too early and me not ready to face the dawning of puberty in her.

Hands and feet were the first to grow.  Oh, how her feet grew.  It seemed that overnight she went from a size 8 child’s shoe to a woman’s size 9.  Her appetite became insatiable and her weight climbed.  Her breasts budded then quickly blossomed far beyond my expectation and well beyond her delight.

She wasn’t ready, did not want, rejected facts undeniable, insisted she was not / could not / would not ever….  She wasn’t having any of it.

Puberty had its unrelenting, undeniable way with her. And, she hated it.  All of it.  Cute girl’s shoes no longer fit her.  She wore shoes like her grandma.  Bras were confining and uncomfortable. And, wear a pad – ick – she could feel it.  All were a hated intrusion on her and an interruption to her ability to enjoy carefree childhood.

My little girl was developing the body of a woman.

Dressing her became a nightmare. Cute size 8 clothes that she loved were left hanging on the rack while larger, more mature clothing were selected out of necessity. “I look like Grandma” was her response. Everything had to be altered.  If it fit her one place, it didn’t another.  And, the length was always too long.

I knew it would happen. (One day.) Girls become women. It’s a process (meaning s-l-o-w) and puberty plays a huge role.  Over time girls grow up.   She knew that one day she would grow into a woman.

One day is always far in the future.  When you’re 8, there’s too much living to be done and fun to be had to worry about what can and will happen one day.

I knew it was possible for puberty to arrive early.  It did for her paternal grandmother – her first period was at age 9. But, I also knew that I experienced puberty late, as did my mother and her mother.  I assumed the same for her.

I steeled myself against the possibility. Surely puberty would not arrive until I was ready…she was ready.

Ah…I’d pulled the cover over my head in denial and allowed my daughter to do the same.

“One day you will have breasts and pubes and a period like Mommy.” How many times had I told her that to her inquiries as of why and what and when?

One day.

But, not today….

Oh, how I wish The New Puberty: How to Navigate Early Development in Today’s Girls had been in my hands when my daughter was little.  It would have given me the tools to help her accept her changing body and move gently through puberty.  I would have known what to do – and how.  And, equally important – what to avoid doing and why.

Instead of covering my head and refusing to face the dawning of “one day,” I would have been busy before dawn – ready to seize the day and squeeze every bit of good from it every day of her journey.

If you have a girl – get The New Puberty.  Get it even if you don’t anticipate her entering puberty early.  It’s a resource and wealth of information at your fingertips. It will change you.  Yes, you.  You experienced puberty and I’m guessing your experience was not all positive or pleasant.  This book has the potential to change your outlook and your daughter’s experience.

The New Puberty: How to Navigate Early Development in Today’s Girls is a crucial resource for today’s parents and a period wise investment.

 

Little Big Girls

Little Big Girls is a documentary, by Hélène Choquette, National Film Board of Canada,  highlighting the phenomenon of early puberty in girls.

Phenomenon?

Yes!

To quote the documentary: “Girls are getting breasts 1 year earlier than 20 years ago.”  “No one knows why this is happening.  This is cause for action.”

This has been observed and studied by researchers who do not understand and cannot put their finger on why it’s happening.  This meets the definition of phenomenon.

So what’s the big deal? Girls have been entering puberty early, at age 9, for years.  My own mother-in-law experienced her first period at age 9 in 1936. So, this is nothing new, right?

Right.  And, WRONG!

Sure, it’s true that 20, 40, 80 years ago some girls entered puberty earlier than the norm. But, it was a rare occurrence.

Not so these days.

Today it’s not unusual to see signs of early puberty in girls age 7 – or younger.

A number of causes are suspected: could obesity and exposure to environmental contaminants, for instance, be to blame? The physical, psychological and psychosocial repercussions on young girls results in a disconnect between their physical and emotional maturity. Far from being a marginal issue, early-onset puberty is fast becoming a worldwide public health concern. (Read more.)

If the above quote was a bit much to grasp fully, consider the quotes below.  They were taken from the documentary – from the lips of young women who entered puberty early, who developed a woman’s body in 3rd and 4th grades and their struggle to find normal in a body they didn’t understand or want.

You realize you have to grow up.  There’s nothing you can do.

…like a stroke of bad luck…too soon…wasn’t ready yet…psychologically or physically…wanted to be at the same stage as the other girls in my school.

I didn’t want it. …inconceivable for me not to be normal. At that age you just want to be normal. You want to be accepted. …just further proof that I wasn’t normal.  I thought I would be even more of an outcast if people found out.  You want it to STOP.

In grade 4…it’s just not fair!

I was the biggest outcast because I looked older and because I was curvier than everybody else. They would insult me for not being like them. Basically, I was as much of a child as they were. I had the same interests, watched the same shows, did exactly the same things.  Just because my body had changed didn’t mean that I had changed as a person.

Given that I didn’t have a child’s body, I ended up maturing a little faster, too.

Unfortunately, I think my childhood went by too quickly….

It’s important to understand that girls who enter puberty early face many obstacles – relational, physical, psychological, emotional, sexual.

Yes, sexual.

The body is ready but the head is not.  Physically their bodies are ready for sexual experiences. The urges and curiosity are there. But, psychologically they are not ready because they are still little girls.  They are naive…seek approval…are too eager to please…easily manipulated…too often used…abused.

Watch the documentary. Please.  For the sake of every girl who is and who will be impacted by early puberty.

It’s FREE only for this weekend.

Have you known girls who started puberty quite young?  What challenges did they face?

Have you ever treated a girl based on the age you felt she looked rather than by her chronological age?