Category Archives: Girl

Out With the Old, In With the New

New year New YouHere we sit on the brink of a new year filled with new opportunities and possibilities.

What does that mean to you period wise?

Here’s a quick list for consideration as you turn your back on the old and face the new.

  • try something new (product, attitude, activity)
  • learn something new (about yourself, your flow, your cycles, a product you’re curious about)
  • be curious (Infinity pads, menstrual cups, 100% organic cotton tampons, cloth pads, free bleeding)
  • be adventuresome (step outside of your menstrual comfort zone)
  • share (don’t keep your growth and discoveries to yourself)
  • prepare (the next generation to be period wise – you may be their only hope of a great start)
  • create change (first in yourself then in your world)
  • be period proud

Happy New Year!

Dancing with Dad

She was in the wedding.  Her favorite (and only) uncle was getting married and she was a junior bridesmaid.

Almost 7, she was, and full of life and eager to live it.

She was getting a new aunt.  There was going to be a party afterward.

Her excitement was contagious. Her antics were comical. Her desire to be a part of things, precious. Her older sister (by 2 years) was also a junior bridesmaid and took things a bit more seriously and with less zest.

As she took her place among the bridesmaids, she looked to them for affirmation and correction.  A nod of their heads was all she needed to feel secure in her place but soon forgot she was not the center of attention.

After all, she was the center of her own world and surely that of her uncle. Her joy could not be contained and as an expression of what she felt inside, her body took on the stance of a ballerina. The gentle touch of the nearest bridesmaid’s hand prevented the intended pirouette.

To dance…that’s all she wanted.  Everything in her desired to act out what her heart felt.

Later, at the reception she would have opportunity to release her emotions and express her joy.  And, she did.  For three hours, she jumped and danced and wiggled and squealed.  Her partners ranged from her sister, to a group of teens, to the bride, and then to a bottle of bubbles….

The last dance was a slow dance.

Her dad offered his hand and she took it.  He lifted her from the stage from which she had danced solo, and after a quick peck on the cheek, placed her feet on the dance floor. He bent over, took her hand and led her in a slow dance around the floor. As the song reached midway, she raised her hands to him and he lifted her, cradling her against his chest.  She wrapped her legs around his torso, her arms around his neck, and placed her head on his shoulder.  Dad wrapped his arms around her and danced with her until the music was nearing its end.  He set her on the floor, spun her once and then dipped her gently and as he brought her up, kissed her forehead.

Dancing with Daddy taught her much.  Far more than she realized.  Daddy will influence her thoughts and views on boys and men for years to come.  And, she will expect them to mirror her dad’s treatment of her.

Good for her.

And, good for Dad.

Things will soon get interesting for this Dad of Daughters. I hope he will be up for whatever comes and the girls under his watchful care thrive and embrace the changes with grace and ease, knowing their dad loves them, accepts them, and is comfortable with all the changes that puberty brings.

Dads who are period wise raise daughters who are confident, secure, comfortable, and capable of fully embracing the changes that come as they move from girlhood into womanhood.

Myth? Mystery? Meaningful? What are You Teaching the Girls in Your Life?

A recent tweet invoked my ire.

@ProvedByScience: If a girl wears regular underwear with yoga pants, she’s a virgin. This is science.






My reply was simple.

@PeriodWise @ProvedByScience define “girl”

144 characters limited what I could say and there was NO WAY I could say all I wanted to in one tweet. So, I began small and hoped to engage in conversation.

This morning when I searched for the original @ProvedByScience tweet I found only my reply and one RT to which was added “Guess I’m a virgin then lol”

LOL?  Seriously?

Are we so accustomed to this type thing that we find it funny? Or, feel we should laugh it off and go along with the joke. If so, then the joke’s on us.

It’s not funny.  It’s demeaning.  It makes girls nothing but an object to be labeled, manipulated, and used (need I say abused?).

And girls who grow up labeled, manipulated and used / abused become woman who accept such treatment and propagate it, often without even realizing it.

Girls are easily impressed by things heard & seen.  And, girls are often eager to be what they think is expected of them.

Take a look at the verbal cues your girls receive on a daily, moment by moment basis (in school, church, at home, from friends, the TV, in songs, from guys). If you’re not alarmed, you should be.

From an early age, girls are told what their place in society is. And, they are told what’s expected of them, how they should think about themselves, how they should dress, act…who they should be.

Myths, lies, misinformation – these and more create a mystery-laden-quagmire for girls that leads them to misunderstand themselves and their place and position in the world.

Confused and misinformed girls become – that’s right – confused and misinformed women.

Women, it’s time to arise, name and claim who we are, what we are, and stand against anything that defames, degrades, or denigrates girls / women.

Girls / women…the term seems interchangeable, doesn’t it?  But, it’s not.  Girls are not yet women.  And, women are no longer girls.  We women need to protect girls from those who would teach them to be other than and less than they are and can be.

Stand up for the girls within your reach and realm of influence.

Be a voice that dispels myths, decodes mysteries, and opens the door to honest/open discussion.

Be the Heroine of Your Life

I stumbled upon Nora Ephron by accident – literally.  The July, 2014 issue of Prevention Magazine was on the floor, my arms were full of laundry, and I caught my toe on the magazine as I made my way through the house.

Laundry tumbled to the floor as the magazine skittered several feet and flipped open.

I stooped to pick up the scattered laundry and came up with the magazine in my hand instead of panties and tee shirts.

It had opened to page 63.  The picture was of two girls – both wearing masks, dresses and capes – standing in a super hero pose with head turned to the side, chin lifted, eyes squinted, chests out, hands on hips.  Powerful.  And, powerfully feminine.

At the top left of the page were these words:

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. – Nora Ephron

That’s awesome period wise advice.

Be the heroine of your life, not the victim = powerful…life changing…empowering.

For more on the amazing Nora Ephron check out the following links.


Back to School – Period Wise

The count down to the first day of the 2014-15 school year has begun.

Back to school shoppers are filling the local stores as parents and children select school clothes and classroom supplies.

On the list of must purchase items should be period supplies if you have girls who could start or have started to menstruate.  And, along with period supplies should be a period pack for school – something small and discrete, yet big enough to contain necessary products and an extra pair of panties.

Back to school period wise thoughts follow.  (Additional thoughts are welcome!)

It’s estimated that 3 in 10 girls have begun puberty by 8 years of age.  Most girls will experience menarche as tweens.

With this in mind, it’s period wise to be prepared and the best way is to have a period pack handy at school (either in the locker, backpack, or purse).

Any small bag will work. Ex: A small makeup bag is perfect for holding a few liners, pads, or tampons, as well as an extra pair of panties.

If your daughter has not yet begun to menstruate, make sure she knows what to do in the event she starts.

If your daughter is new to menstruation, having a plan in place and her period pack with her will ease the transition from home to school and will calm any anxiety she may have as well as prevent embarrassment should her period arrive unexpectedly while at school.

If your daughter is a period pro and feels ready to move from pads or tampons to something more exciting (like cups) encourage her.  Periods often fall on weekends and holidays – what better time to learn the ins and outs of cup use!

When it comes to girls and menstruation, it’s best to prepare for the unexpected. Sometimes you just never know, and if she’s prepared, she’s confident.

If your daughter has already begun to menstruate, make sure her school period pack has a day’s worth of product plus 1.

If she has not yet started, make sure she knows what to do if she starts her first period while at school.

Also, help her have a plan in place in the event that she doesn’t have her period pack, or forgets to bring more product to school and suddenly discovers she needs it. She needs to know what to do in just such an emergency, and who to go to for help. (School nurse, school counselor, teacher, friend)

If your daughter has begun to experience vaginal discharge or expresses concern that her period may start, liners are terrific little confidence boosters.

Leaks are a big concern.  Have an anti-leak plan and a contingency plan in case she does experience a leak.

Talk through different possibilities with your daughter and come up with a plan for each.

If possible, before school starts, walk through the school with your daughter – visit the restrooms and look for receptacles. She will need to know what to do with used menstrual products.  (Flushing is not an option.)

Preparation is the key, period wise. And, it can make for an awesome, confident start school wise.

Living Life As A Girl – Giveaway

If you’ve ever wanted to try a sampling of various and different menstrual products, the opportunity is now. 

The mastermind behind Living Life As A Girl, is planning a giveaway of a huge sampling of pads, liners, tampons and wipes.  If you’ve ever wondered what a particular product is like, chances are you will find it among the giveaway goodies she will be offering soon.

Who is she? I’ll let her words speak for her.

When I was about 12 I realized that I loved helping girls. I was always giving my friends advice. Also most girls came to me if they needed help. I started a YouTube channel because I like to help other girls with any help or advice they might need about all girl stuff.

Does she have any period wise advice for girls? Oh, yeah! And, her advice is spot on.

A piece of advice I would give to girls my age would be to talk to their moms if they are feeling scared or need anything.

Check out Living Life As A Girl‘s Giveaway video – be sure to subscribe to her channel and stay tuned for more info about the giveaway!

Faking It

Did you ever fake it?

I did – as a 7th grader.  In my group, I was the only one who had not yet reached menarche.

The new ad by Hello Flo brought back so many memories.  I’ve laughed and cried.  And, I’ve wanted to hug that little 7th grader from my past who lied about starting and assure her that it’s okay to be different.

Be yourself.  You can’t be anyone else.  Being honest about your experience and true to yourself is period wise.

Gifting the Girls in Your Life

When you gifted the girls in your life this holiday season, did you give a gift that keeps on giving? a gift that will provide opportunity to learn? a gift that will encourage growth? a gift that will support  acceptance of and appreciation for who she is? a gift that will assure her that body literacy is good…positive…necessary?

Information opens the door to knowledge and knowledge applied is wisdom.

How have you gifted the girl in your life…period wise?

Life Before Puberty

Do you remember what it was like before you began to change?

You know…before your body began to respond to the hormonal surges that turned you from a child into an adult?

How much do you remember about the carefree body of your childhood?

The NPR piece set my mind to thinking about my own experience – not only with puberty and the changes it brought, but before.

Before – when I was just a little girl and my biggest concern was what Momma would have for dinner and if I would like it.

As a late bloomer, I had many more years of carefree body life – far more than children who enter puberty at 4, 6, 8….

But, try as I might, I found it difficult to remember what it felt like to live in a prepubescent body.

Oh, I remember the fun…there was a lot of fun. From daylight until dark, days were filled with fun.

In the summer I ran around shirtless like the boys and thought it wasn’t fair that I couldn’t pee on a tree like they could.

I remember the last time I allowed Mom to bathe me, but not how old I was.  She was always careful to make sure I was clean and her manicured nails scratched my delicate skin as she washed between and within. I’d had enough – “I’ll do it myself,” I insisted.

Surely I could part and wash between and within that part of my anatomy far better than she. My fingernails were short and my fingers small. A quick swipe with a soapy washcloth was all I saw a need for.  I had no idea there were folds and bits and pieces of me that were unseen and needed to be clean.

Apparently they weren’t aware either.

My mother had breasts. So did my grandmothers and aunts. And, my female adult neighbors did, too.  In fact, all the women I knew had breasts. They were evident on their chests…bumps or humps or lumps that protruded and got in the way most of the time, especially when they tried to hug you, but they sure did make nice pillows for sleepy heads.

I had a chest.  No breasts on me. And, as far as I knew, no breasts for me. I was a girl – not a woman.

My grandmother once told me, “One day you will have some, too.”

My reply was “No, I’m a girl – I’ll always be a girl and girls have chests…they don’t grow breasts!”

Free to be and at ease with my body, I had no problem being naked…in my backyard, in the wading pool, in the tub, with my family…with my friends. Why would I need clothes?  Why would anyone?

And, why would anyone want to cover up what they had? I knew there were rules that applied to how people dressed and acted, depending on where they were and who they were with.  I didn’t know what social norms were but I knew what was accepted by my parents and expected by others. I just didn’t know why…or care why.

Until a friend who was three years older than I visited me for a day of play.

On previous visits, at the end of a long summer day of play, we had jumped into the bathtub together and splashed away until Mom declared us clean. The only difference in us was our ages and height.

This visit, as daylight dwindled, I was left sitting on the porch while my friend bathed.

“Why can’t we get a bath together like always? Why do I have to wait? There’s plenty of room for us both!” I whined.

Mom said, “She wanted to get a bath by herself this time. Sometimes girls want privacy.”

Privacy! That’s what people asked for when they were in the restroom stall and little kids peeked under to see if the stall was occupied.

Why would my friend need privacy to get in the tub?

“Is something wrong? Is she mad at me? Why doesn’t she want to play in the tub with me?” I quizzed mom.

“One day you will understand,” Mom said. And, with a kiss to my furrowed brow she left me to ponder her words.

And, ponder I did. It was a great mystery and I would be the great detective and set about to discover why it was my friend preferred a boring bath alone to a continuation of playtime.

So, I did what any great detective would do…I tried peeking in the bathroom window. And, yes, Mom caught me before I was able to solve the thing that puzzled me.

And, now, here was a new thing.  My mom was guarding the privacy of my friend and keeping me from her. Surely, I had done something horribly wrong and upset my friend, causing her to reject me and the friendship and openness we once shared.

Our friendship did change from that point onward. I didn’t understand the change until years later, of course, and assumed I was the cause of it.  I mourned the loss I felt and hated the walls that were erected between us.

Age became an issue. I wasn’t “old enough.”  Again…I didn’t understand.

It wasn’t a matter of age.  It was a matter of maturity, of puberty. My friend had become self-aware and sought to hide herself in a cloak of privacy.

I, on the other hand, had no such encumbrances. I had no such burden to bear. I was free to be – me.

There was nothing about me that I thought to hide. My freckled face…my chest…my arms and hands…legs and feet…there was nothing scary about them and no need to hide them.  Everyone had them, except for women, who had breasts and there were laws about letting those bad girls loose in public. I knew…my dad had told me so.  And, I could see why there would be.  Those things could be dangerous…could poke a kid’s eye out or get tangled up in the steering wheel or worse.

I felt sorry for my friend, and for other friends as well, who lost their freedom to be and enjoy unburdened days of childhood. Mom’s words would come to me time and again, “One day you will understand.”

That day came rather unexpectedly. I had stepped out of the tub and was drying myself when I felt soreness on my chest.  And, it seemed the soreness was directly centered under one of my nipples. There was a lump there. My chest was swollen a little there as well.

“MOM!” I yelled, and she appeared instantly in the bathroom door.  “I think I hurt my chest today.  I must have run into the corner of something.”

Mom moved in for closer look.  “Ouch!” I said as she touched my chest and put gentle pressure on the tender lump.

“Are you certain you ran into the corner of something? This is directly beneath your nipple,” she stated with an odd look of concern on her face.

I didn’t recall hurting myself but I had been quite active that day and anything was truly possible and I told her so. “Do you think I have…cancer??” I asked her.

“No…and I don’t think you injured yourself either,” she offered as she felt the other side of my chest and asked, “is that sore, too?”

I shook my head “no” and assured her it was just the one side.  She nodded and said we would keep an eye on it but she was sure it was nothing to worry about.


Over the next few days I watched and waited for a bruise to rise to the surface but one never did.  And, the lump didn’t go down…it got bigger and even more tender.

Instead of going shirtless, I was instructed to keep my shirt on.  And, not only that, but I was given an undershirt to wear as well.

It became shameful to be shirtless.

Suddenly I became self-aware and sought to hide myself and my body.  I was embarrassed and confused.

Something was wrong.

And, I was alone.

All of my peers had moved on years before and those I now played with were younger than I and wondered why I had become aloof and secretive.

My grandmothers delighted in the fact that I as “growing boobies” and said so…to me. And, they also said that I was “becoming a young woman.”

“GROWING BOOBIES??!!!???  A young WOMAN?  ME???”

For the first time in my life I wished I knew curse words.

And, I wished I were once again 3…4…8…10 so I could throw a tantrum and act my age…the age I still felt at times…when things weren’t all mixed up and felt so weird.

“Now that you’re becoming a young woman” became the most hated phrase anyone could say.  Why?  Because each time I heard it, it spelled the end of one of my childhood pleasures.

Grow up?  Me?? For what reason? I was fine just like I was, thank you very much. Become an adult? A woman? A Mommy? Um…why?

For the first time in my life I saw growing up as an obstacle to being me.

From my earliest memories, when someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would say “a doctor…a nurse…an explorer… a writer….”  Becoming an adult was not even on my radar and certainly not on my horizon.  I saw no need for change…or to become.  I would just be.

And, I would be…me.

And, when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I began to answer “free.”

Free to be me – that’s all I wanted.

And, now, it seems that I’m coming full circle.  (No, I’m not taking off my shirt and running around the neighborhood half naked – laws haven’t changed.)

I’m rediscovering the me that existed before becoming encumbered with the burden of “becoming a woman.”

Do your girls a favor –

  • Prepare them EARLY, explain to them, don’t be secretive.
  • Be open – with your own experience, with age appropriate information.
  • Make “the change” a normal part of THEIR growth…explain, explain, explain.
  • Help your girls see that it’s about becoming MORE who they are and not a time when they lose who they were.
  • Don’t force them to embrace an identity they are unfamiliar with and one that makes them uncomfortable, secretive and embarrassed.
  • Growing up is confusing enough as it is.  Don’t make things harder than they are.

Pregnant Before Her First Period

At 11 years of age, Hope became a mother just weeks shy of her 12th birthday.  The baby’s daddy is just 17 months older.

Hope’s mother, Lisa, says that she was shocked to find out on Christmas Eve of last year that her daughter was pregnant — when Hope was already six months along. She recalls that, as Hope was getting up off the couch, she noticed that her stomach was protruding out. “Hope had never even gotten her period,” Lisa says. She insists that she had no idea that Hope and her boyfriend, Bailey, were having sex.(Read more about Dr. Phil’s show 10-10-13.)

Did you notice what Hope’s mom said?  “Hope had never even gotten her period.”

11 year old Hope got pregnant and she’d never had a period – not one.

What about your girls? Have you “had the talk” with them? Are your girls sexually active?  Would you know if they were?

What about it, moms?  Are your girls period wise?